Gen. 2:18- “And the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a help meet for him”
From the beginning of time, after the creation of man, God saw that man was alone, he needed company, a support system. There were animals of all forms in the garden with Adam, but none was suitable enough to fill that void, hence the creation of THE WOMAN.
In Mark 10:7 Jesus said “For this cause shall a man LEAVE his father and mother and CLEAVE to his wife”
To cleave means to HOLD ON TO TIGHTLY, TO ATTACH, TO BE FAITHFUL, and STICK TO SOMEBODY OR SOMETHING
If a man is being enjoined to leave father and mother and cleave to his wife, then there are certain vital roles she must be playing in the man`s life;
- A role that father and mother cannot fill
- A role that is God ordained
- A role that would bring him health and life
- A role that would bring him peace
- A role that would help him fulfill God`s glorious plan for his life.
Don’t get me wrong, she is not God, neither is she the solution to all his problems. She is a powerful tool in the hands of God to help her husband become and help him build all that God wants their home to become. She is vital to charting the course of destiny for their family and generations to come.
On a lighter note, it is commonly believed that, to know how to care for a woman you need an encyclopedia or you need to do extensive research. Some people even say women don’t know what they want, therefore it is difficult to care for a woman.
Well I will have you know that, it is not simpler to care for our husbands because I have come to discover that they are big babies. They require attention and care.
They are strong on the exterior or outside when doing their jobs, but at home, their wives know the true scores.
So quickly how do you treat and care for your husband;
The man is the head of the home even as Christ is the head of the church. this applies also to being the spiritual head of the home. However, as his wife;
First, you must be his prayer partner, agree in prayers together.
The bible says “one will chase a thousand and two will chase ten thousand”. How much power do you think husband and wife possess and command together in the place of prayers?
Secondly, support him by ensuring that your children have strong scriptural foundations that will help them as children and adults. Teach them Bible verses, Christian and Godly songs, help them discover their purpose in the light of scriptures. Censor the kind of cartoons or contents they watch and listen to.
Never leave the assignment of spiritually building the home to your husband alone. If he has to be out of town or away from home for some time, ensure you are able to fill in for him and leave no void.
Be there for him when he wants to talk and unburden his mind, massage his feet and cut his nails when you can. I grew up watching my mum pick white hair from my father’s hair, I was a child but that memory has never left me. I did not understand then, but now I know they were bonding, I am sure anything my mother asked my father at that point, she would most likely get.
Give him good food. You are low on finances is not an excuse for tasteless food, work your magic. Be a good home keeper. If your family can afford a domestic staff, that’s great. If not, do what you can within your power to keep the home neat and children organized.
If you must enjoy your marriage, I beg you in God`s name, don’t ignore your husband`s physical needs.
We have touched on this a bit. Let your husband come home to wholesome words, not insults or abuses. For some women, our actions and facial expressions are worse than our words. When things are not working as you expect, how do you react to your husband? Learn to use words of affirmation in your marriage like;
- I love you,
- I am proud of you,
- I believe in you,
- You are handsome,
- I see your progress,
- Thank you,
- Sex with you is amazing;
Make him feel like a king, you won`t regret it.
Support him by bringing something to the table, no matter how small. Can your husband trust you with money? Some husbands are afraid to tell their wives when they have money because she will finish spending it before the money comes. I hope you are not one of them. Be a good manager of finances. Know how to use the funds he puts in your care especially in times of financial plenty. When you cannot afford chicken, please eat fish gladly. Do not eat with all your mouth (you know what I mean); I tell you he will value you and hold you dear.
I thank God for our fathers and mothers in the faith who speak openly about sexual relations in marriage. It used to be a no go area and too holy a subject to discuss. Until it became clear that many Christian homes were breaking on account of lack of sexual satisfaction. My sisters, the truth is, this subject should not be joked with. That you got married as a virgin is no excuse to remain one after marriage; so strive to learn with your husband.
There are Christian books on the subject of sex in marriage, buy them and read them with your husband. You should not have headache every time your husband approaches you; a woman too can approach her husband for sex
The Lord will help us in Jesus Name.
Barrister Ihechi Olanrewaju is the author of “BODY SAFETY GUIDE FOR KIDS” and “BODY SAFETY GUIDE FOR TEENS”. She is the CO-ordinator of COMFORT CENTRE FOR FOR CHILD ADVOCACY, RESPONSE AND EMPOWERMENT.