In this topic we have three key words:
Marriage in Biblical context is simply the union between a man and a woman to become husband and wife.
Love is an intense feeling of deep affection with no limit or conditions for a person.
Sustain means to cause to continue for an extended period or without interruption
The first marriage was between the first man called Adam and first woman called Eve. The joining of both of them was done by God Himself in Genesis 2:18-25. Before we go into how to sustain love in marriage, we need to understand the concept of marriage from the above passage.
Marriage is instituted by God for companionship, fellowship, mutual help and comfort with deep affectionate intimate relationship. Marriage belongs to God and not just the man and woman. Marriage should be seen as a trust where God is the major stakeholder. He therefore supports the partners in marriage. God gives divine resources to marriage under Him.
Man _ I _ Woman
We are accountable to God how we handle our marriage. Having this concept as a mind-set, then sustaining the love in our marriage should be intentional.
How to Sustain Love in our Marriage
1. LOVE GOD
The Bible says “God is love”. You cannot give what you don’t have. You can only sustain what you possess. If you love God, you will reflect His image and your love for your spouse will not only be sustained but will continue to grow. It is the Agape love that keeps us in marriage even in times of trials.
2. STUDY AND OBEY GOD’S WORD
If God is the Creator of marriage, then He has the written operational manual of how to maintain or sustain the love in it. Love is like a lubricant in the marriage, the manual will direct you where to apply it for the marriage to be heaven on earth. The love language of marriage is embedded in the word of God. “Whatever He says to you, do it” John 2:5
Sacrifice is giving away something very precious or valuable for another thing to be meaningful. You have to make sacrifices to satisfy your spouse if need be. It may be your time, idea, money, body, ambition, position, career and your right as the case may be. Don’t forget that Christ made sacrifice, that is why we can have the joy of salvation. You can also do the same for your marriage to be lovely at all times.
4. GET KNOWLEDGE
Identify the love language of your spouse. Know the love language of your marriage. Love language are those things you will say or do to your spouse that will ignite or spark up the fire of love in him or her and it will make your love for each other to glow the more. Your marriage has its own peculiar love language. For example, romantic words, gifts, sex, helping hands, lovely text messages, nice meal, money, appearance, romantic touch, etc. Do not copy another marriage because you are not having the same “Code”. Try and decode what works for your spouse. Also read books, attend seminars and be well informed. Remember, “My people perish for lack of knowledge”.
Don’t just talk but communicate to each other. Communicate to your Lover with your body, emotions, words, etc. Express your joy to your spouse. When you are hurt don’t bottle up offenses because it will lead to bitterness. Resolve conflicts, please don’t carry it over to the next day. Discuss issues in an atmosphere of love. Apologise to and also accept apologies from your spouse. Even when you are right apologise, it won’t cost you anything. Forgive offences so that your love will blossom.
6. BE COMMITTED
Be committed to your Lover and to your marriage. It works! Give special attention to your spouse, he or she needs it for satisfaction. Always make your spouse to feel important and loved. Don’t just have it in your mind but express it to your spouse. Be intimate with each other. Don’t have emotional affair with someone else. Pour all your emotions on your spouse because you cannot attract genuine attention from another man or woman. Avoid temptations and appearance of evil.
In John 2: 1-11, when the wine at the wedding reception finished, Mother Mary went to Jesus on the matter. The answer came and it was a sweeter wine. Love is the wine in our marriage. Prayer is the key for sustaining the love in every marriage. Invite Jesus into your marriage, He will supply you with wisdom and all you need to sustain love in your marriage. If God is involved, He will continue to refresh and renew the love in your marriage.
If you have not surrender your life to Jesus, please do so now. Then invite Him into your marriage, He will give you a sweeter Love. Follow these “STEPS ” in marriage
S – Sleep together
T – Talk together
E – Eat together
P – Pray together
S – Study together