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KEEPING YOUR HOME INTACT IN A LONG DISTANCE MARRIAGE

Marriage is beautiful. Whether Long Distance or under one roof, marriage can be awesome. Believe me, I’ve been in both; and I’ve enjoyed it in both.

Marriage was ordained by God to be a most beautiful thing. Just look at the first marriage. Look at all the preparation that went into it. First, the creation of a beautiful world to live in, specifically the most beautiful garden ever! Then the man who was also given time to discover himself and his environment, before the introduction of the woman and thus, marriage. I’m sure the woman also had time to prepare for the journey ahead before Adam woke up and saw her.

So Adams in the house, before you fall into that sleep of searching that will awaken you into the revelation of your Eve, better make sure you have a garden well planted even if not yet bearing fruit. We’ll work the garden with you, but let it exist first.

Eves in the house, before your Adam opens his eyes and suddenly sees you (even if you were probably there all along), make sure you’re ready to be claimed as his bone and flesh, and to live in submission to that mystery.

So back to my first statement: Marriage, whether under one roof or in different continents, can be beautiful and enviable. All it takes is knowledge of how to make it work, and application of same.

Long Distance Marriage is not a new phenomenon; Especially considering the fact that there is nothing new under the sun. It was there even in Bible times. In the Bible, we read how often the men, either go to war, or take the sheep out to pasture. All these while, the women are left at home to care for the children.

Sometimes they stayed in the fields for months. Remember Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah. Why do you think David had to kill him? Because he had been away for so long that if Bathsheba delivered it would be obvious it wasn’t his child. David invited him back on holiday, but he refused to have fun with his wife while the armies of Israel were at war. Hence David had no Choice, or so he felt.

Hence this command:  

Deut. 24:5 – When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: [but] he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.

However, over time, people became used to married couples living under one roof for most of their lives. Till death do them part.Very few people had Long Distance Marriage in mind when they said I Do

Nevertheless, due to the fast changing times, Long Distance Marriage is increasingly becoming the reality of many modern people. Some due to job transfers, Military deployments, gradual family relocations, a spouse with a job requiring lots of travel, Family emergencies, etc. Distance may sound like a challenge to marriage, but all it takes is a little extra effort.

TRUE LOVE: THE KEY TO MARITAL BLISS

Below lies the Biblical definition of true love :

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.   This is the first and great commandment.   And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.   On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. Matthew 22:37-40 KJV

On these two commandments hang all you will ever need to know about success in Marriage. Without these commandments, no marriage, no matter how romantic it was, is ready to survive. Singles in the house, let me tell you one very open powerful secret:

Marry a man or woman that loves God passionately, and you’ve gotten yourself a ticket to a most beautiful adventure.

I can’t say this enough, If I need to, I’ll come and shout it over your roof top!

If you both love God, you’ll both obey His Commands and precepts. And I tell you, the result is mind blowing. You are scared he’s cheating on you because you can’t vouch for his love for God! You are scared she’ll run away from you because you don’t know whether or not she has a relationship with God!

The second law says, love your neighbor as yourself

Note that love is not just a feeling: that’s only an aspect of it. Love is a choice: an action word it is. If you love someone, it either shows in your behavior or you are lying. If you love your spouse, you’ll be truly committed to your marriage no matter the distance.

Remember this, “that decision to beat all odds and stay together no matter what” is the first step. Half the battle is won at that point.

The remaining is action. And I’ll be outlining some briefly:

1. COMMUNICATION

Communication is the bed rock of every relationship and is most crucial in Marriage. No matter the distance, if communication can be maintained, the marriage will stay strong. Even couples living together, if they don’t communicate, will have issues

Thank God for technology; Use it to your advantage. My husband and I has had to get used to Skype, Imo, etc. Extra cool by MTN was also very helpful. In this age and time, if you are not Tech Savvy, what are you? Use Video or Audio calls to keep in touch. Pray together online. Do midnight prayers together either through video or audio calls. Check on each other often, communicate as if you’re together

In one on one relationships, gadgets are an enemy, a distraction. In distant relationships , they become your best friends.

2. VISUAL AIDS

Use your eyes. Keep each other’s pictures everywhere around you. Research has shown that it helps. Out of sight can really become out of mind. My husband’s pictures were displayed everywhere, both for the kids sakes and for mine. I look up from my work and see his smiling eyes, and I throw him a kiss and say a Word of prayer for him. He was my screen saver and I was his. Believe me, it helps a lot.

3. ACT LIKE YOU LIVE TOGETHER

Carry each other along as if he just went out to work or you just stepped out to the market. The only thing missing between us was the physical touch. We get up and greet each other good morning. Say prayers and share some RHEMAS.

He knows what we’re taking for breakfast, I ensure he also takes breakfast. He calls to make sure the kids have gotten to school and I’ve settled in the office. He even gets to know how the dogs and chickens are doing. I’m also constantly updated on his activities.

3. PRIORITISE TRUST

If you started with rule number one of marrying someone who loves God, then surely the trust is already there. Maintain It! Lack of trust is the number one Marriage Slayer. You don’t want to let that one into your marriage, trust me!

Those days, and even now, when certain fears try to steal into my heart, I will declare out loud “Lord, I thank you that the same you that is keeping me is keeping him”. And because its the truth, that ugly devil of fear and distrust flees.

Don’t assume your spouse is cheating on you. Remove that assumption far from you. Trust God to keep both of you pure. If you can resist where you are, so can him or her. Hallelujah

I see God turning every Long Distance Marriage here into a beautiful adventure like I had in the Mighty Name of Jesus Christ. Amen!

Mrs Elizabeth Anyasodo

FOUNDATIONS FOR A SUCCESSFUL HOME

Every home or marriage is BUILT. No marriage works on its own. No marriage works on its own, you either work it or loose it. You either BUILD it or destroy it, knowingly or unknowingly. Many people are in marriage and destroying it with their hands.

If yours is not working, it’s possible you are not putting in the right bricks or amount of cement or fitting necessary per time.  So, every marriage is BUILT into the desired edifice; and every BUILDING stands on a FOUNDATION.

The foundation is always unseen but is very fundamental to the building. No foundation, no building; Basically, your relationship/courtship days are majorly the foundation days for the marriage you want to build. Also, your early days in marriage can also contribute to the solidity of the foundation you are setting for the marriage and family.

If you have been married for years and have had a very rough marital ride? Do not bother, this teaching is also for you.

Psalm 11: 3 says, “If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?” The righteous can rebuild the foundation! Yes!!! So even if you made mistakes at the inception of your marriage and things have been very rough for you and your spouse, I believe today is your day of Marital restoration and bliss. All you need to do is apply the principles we shall discuss, and God will bring restoration to your marriage.

I decree by the mercies of God, every marriage and home in this Commission shall begin to enjoy Heavenly Bliss in Jesus name. Amen! No more marital crisis in Jesus name. I say, No more marital crisis in Jesus name. I repeat again, No more marital crisis in Jesus name.

The type of foundation you set determines the extent to which you can build.You cannot build a skyscraper on the foundation of a bungalow;you also cannot build an enviable marriage if all you did was casually date that girl.No casual relationship can produce a lasting marriage.You cannot be casual about marriage and build a lasting home.This is why if a lady gets pregnant in a causal relationship, she must be ready to dance to a future of single parenting.

A meaningful life is never a casual one. Hallelujah!!!

So, what are the Foundations for a Successful Home?

1. LEAVE THE CHOICE OF YOUR LIFE PARTNER TO GOD

 “Those who leave the choice of a life partner to God, always get the best”- Daddy Bayo Famonure.

I always ask young Christians, “you know that God has a great plan and future for you, doesn’t it occur to you that He also has someone in mind as a life partner for you?”

Prov. 18:22 says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD”

But favour does not come from gallivanting to the north, or navigating to the south, or scouting through the east and west, favour comes from above. So God has someone for you. Yes!

God who led you to study that course and to choose that business, also wants to choose a wife or husband for you. When you discover (find) God’s choice for you in marriage, then you have found favour from the LORD. Stop this ‘hurry-hurry’ and sit with God to reveal His choice to you, and to settle the both of you as a couple.

I have seen a situation where a lady first knew about the guy as God’s will for her. The guy had not gotten the revelation from God. The lady went into active prayers, “Father, open the eyes of this young man to see me as the wife you have appointed for him”; and God did! Hallelujah! Please and please, do not miss God’s choice. This is the first foundation. You will not miss it in Jesus name. Amen!

2. PRAYER WORK

If you will not pray, please do not be in a relationship or marriage. Marriage can bring or amplify spiritual problems, even when God connects you to the woman or man of His choice, you will face battles. Why? You are two different people coming from two different backgrounds, with different experiences and thought patterns. Who knows, your partner may have a very ugly past. Your partner may have unresolved battles just waiting in the future.

Relationship and courtship time is the time to;

  • Pray for the past and to keep it there;
  • Pray for the present to heal the past and set the pace for tomorrow; and,
  • Pray for the future so it does not reintroduce the past but becomes enviable and blissful.

My wife will always say, “pray so that you will not pray”. She always says that to young couples. Pray now that you are yet to marry, so that you can play when you marry. See, if you refuse to deal with foundational spiritual battles in relationship and courtship, you will be fighting so much in marriage, so much that you may not have room to remember to say, I love you!

Young people, stop deceiving yourself. All this “I love you” is good o, but it can turn sour if you do not deal with the past and build your spiritual future in the place of prayers. There is a time for everything, now is the time to pray not to be flirting with each other. If your partner is not interested in praying now, you may need to reconsider partnership. Pray about everything! Hallelujah!!!

3. NAKEDNESS: TRUTH MUST BE REVEALED, NO HIDDEN SECRETS

Gen 2:25 says, _“And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed”_

Marriage is a land where shame is non-existent. If you will do well as husband and wife, you must be open to each other to the minutest things. Stop hiding your finances, earnings and expenditures. Stop hiding things, including what is locked up in your heart. If there is anything in your heart that your spouse should not know, then it does not deserve to be in your life or your heart. Anything you cannot tell your spouse, don’t do it. Nakedness is necessary for a glorious marriage. Be open about everything.

Transparency is at the root of trust in every marital relationship. You cannot be open to your spouse, and he or she will not know. Continue to be truly transparent, even if your husband is pretending not to know, it is a matter of time, he will be the one revealing his deepest secrets.

Those of you in courtship, sit down with your partner very often, in open places, and reveal to each other all that pertains to you. Let your partner know you and all your past. Do not allow him or her hear any news from an external source later on. Nakedness is a necessity for a marriage that will prosper. And distance is not an excuse. Communicate with your spouse everyday. Tell her everything. Let her be involved in your everyday life like you are on duty together.

While I was serving in Benue in 2011, and my wife was serving in Oyo, she knew the details of my every move, everyday. Give your husband daily exhaustive reports of all in your heart and life, and do it joyfully. It fuels the bond and the love. Hallelujah!!!

4. GENUINE LOVE

Love is the fuel of romantic relationship. Love is the fire that fuels your actions and your commitment to each other. You cannot be committed to a partner you do not love. Do all you can to ensure the love between you and your spouse remains on fire.

However, many people in marriage do not understand that love is in depths. Love is not love, love is in depths. Eph 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for her” I love her. I love her. To what extent? You want to marry her, fine! Can you die for her? This is a serious matter o!!! Can you defend her to the point of death? Can you defend that lady you want to marry even if it means opposing the world to the point of death?

Let me say this to young men…..  “Na money you dey hide, sorry for you” Women are not called to suffer. Women are married to be treasured! Love no me for mouth

If you have to suffer to take care of your wife, suffer! It is honourable! Apart from God, the next person you can die for is your wife. It is honourable! Then, in a genuine Godly home, God does not leave a home He constitutes to suffer but for a while.

See, there is no women who cannot fall for love. Love her genuinely, and show it. Prove it beyond all odds, she will stay with you. Saturate your wife’s life with love, she will remain in your castle. Women are won in love.

Women! Women!! Women!!! It is your turn!!! Eph 5:22-23 says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body” Wives, your husband your head, he is not your mate. Your husband is your lord as Christ is your Lord; submit to him, in all things. The way Jesus is Lord over His Church, your husband is your lord, you belong to him. That is the structure in God’s Kingdom. Your husband owns you before God. If you fail, it is his fault, so submit to him and help him succeed.

Wives, do not be tempted in anger to yell, curse or disrespect him, you can never get it right with a man by being bossy. Let me tell you a secret,…. The way to the man’s heart is genuine submission. If you honour your husband as your king in words and DEEDS, you will have the key to his heart, his pocket and his loyalty.

5. OPENNESS TO LEARN

Marriage is a school, and its true! Wedding is not an achievement, many young people do not know this. A beautiful wedding may be a testimony, but it is not an achievement. If you approach marriage with an achievement mentality, you will fail. As young couples, stay open to learn. There is so much to learn.

There are points you will get to in your Marital work and it will be obvious you do not know what to do. There is so much to learn;

  • Handling in-laws
  • Taking care of children
  • Making money
  • Multiplying money
  • Taking care of your man/wife
  • Balancing life’s pressures
  • So many things to learn o

Marriage is for those who want to learn, not for those who think they have arrived. You are the head, Yes! But there are times the head is ignorant. Be open to learn!!!

Stop treating your wife like you know everything. She is also your partner. Listen to her! Be open to learn. It is a pity and disaster to have a wife who talks like she knows everything! Peace can never be in a family where the woman talks to silent the man. Women, may you be open to learn in Jesus name.

6. COMMITMENT TO BUILD

Where there is no commitment, there will be losses. Love is not enough to keep a man and a woman as husband and wife. There must be decision to stay together and build Both husband and wife must be steadfast and unmovable. You must both believe in the marriage, the future and what God wants to do with both of you as one body.

Hallelujah!!! Marriage can face turbulent times. You may not have all things rosy.

Be willing to stay together and fight through and overcome together. Any marriage here facing tough times, today Heaven is visiting you with calm and peace in Jesus name.

Let me give this warning to wives, your husband is the head. This doesn’t mean you abandon him to wade through the tough demands of the family alone. You don’t leave him to fend for the family alone. Support your husband! Men, support your wife’s dreams. Help her succeed!

Be committed in love making. Stop starving your spouse of sex. Do not use sex to starve your spouse in order to express your anger over anything.

Be committed to each other’s dreams. Her dream is your own, his dream too is yours.

7. CHRIST-CENTEREDNESS

I was teaching my children this song recently…

When Jesus in the family,

happy happy home X3

When Jesus in the family,

happy happy home X2

Beautiful song! Hallelujah!!!

Allow Jesus to rule your courtship and marriage. Stop running that marriage and home outside the Lordship of Jesus! Eccl 4:12b says, “a threefold cord cannot be quickly broken” You are 1. Your partner is 2. Make Jesus the 3rd and the Lord, because “a threefold cord cannot be quickly broken”

When Jesus is in charge in your marriage, you live your lives and run your union according to His rule, and you will enjoy the joy, lasting peace, unity and bliss that Christ brings.

Yes, it’s possible that before now, you and your partner have been doing things outside Christ, but you can submit that union to the Lordship of Jesus today! Make Jesus the head of the home. Ask for mercy for all sin and waywardness. Say, “Jesus be Lord over this home and marriage”

I will also like you to pray like this…. “Father, heal every crack in my marriage, by your Lordship, Jesus, restore bliss and soundness to my home…”

We love you and we are praying for you.

Pastor Deji David Olanrewaju
Empowerment Materials by Pastor Deji David Olanrewaju are available Online. CLICK HERE!

HOW TO TREAT AND CARE FOR YOUR HUSBAND

Gen. 2:18- “And the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a help meet for him”

From the beginning of time, after the creation of man, God saw that man was alone, he needed company, a support system. There were animals of all forms in the garden with Adam, but none was suitable enough to fill that void, hence the creation of THE WOMAN.

In Mark 10:7 Jesus said “For this cause shall a man LEAVE his father and mother and CLEAVE to his wife

To cleave means to HOLD ON TO TIGHTLY, TO ATTACH, TO BE FAITHFUL, and STICK TO SOMEBODY OR SOMETHING

If a man is being enjoined to leave father and mother and cleave to his wife, then there are certain vital roles she must be playing in the man`s life;

  • A role that father and mother cannot fill
  • A role that is God ordained
  • A role that would bring him health and life
  • A role that would bring him peace
  • A role that would help him fulfill God`s glorious plan for his life.

Don’t get me wrong, she is not God, neither is she the solution to all his problems. She is a powerful tool in the hands of God to help her husband become and help him build all that God wants their home to become. She is vital to charting the course of destiny for their family and generations to come.

On a lighter note, it is commonly believed that, to know how to care for a woman you need an encyclopedia or you need to do extensive research. Some people even say women don’t know what they want, therefore it is difficult to care for a woman.

Well I will have you know that, it is not simpler to care for our husbands because I have come to discover that they are big babies. They require attention and care.

They are strong on the exterior or outside when doing their jobs, but at home, their wives know the true scores.

So quickly how do you treat and care for your husband;

SPIRITUALLY

The man is the head of the home even as Christ is the head of the church. this applies also to being the spiritual head of the home. However, as his wife;

First, you must be his prayer partner, agree in prayers together.

The bible says “one will chase a thousand and two will chase ten thousand”. How much power do you think husband and wife possess and command together in the place of prayers?

Secondly, support him by ensuring that your children have strong scriptural foundations that will help them as children and adults. Teach them Bible verses, Christian and Godly songs, help them discover their purpose in the light of scriptures. Censor the kind of cartoons or contents they watch and listen to.

Never leave the assignment of spiritually building the home to your husband alone. If he has to be out of town or away from home for some time, ensure you are able to fill in for him and leave no void.

PHYSICALLY

Be there for him when he wants to talk and unburden his mind, massage his feet and cut his nails when you can. I grew up watching my mum pick white hair from my father’s hair, I was a child but that memory has never left me. I did not understand then, but now I know they were bonding, I am sure anything my mother asked my father at that point, she would most likely get.

Give him good food. You are low on finances is not an excuse for tasteless food, work your magic. Be a good home keeper. If your family can afford a domestic staff, that’s great. If not, do what you can within your power to keep the home neat and children organized.

If you must enjoy your marriage, I beg you in God`s name, don’t ignore your husband`s physical needs.

MENTALLY

We have touched on this a bit. Let your husband come home to wholesome words, not insults or abuses. For some women, our actions and facial expressions are worse than our words. When things are not working as you expect, how do you react to your husband? Learn to use words of affirmation in your marriage like;

  • I love you,
  • I am proud of you,
  • I believe in you,
  • You are handsome,
  • I see your progress,
  • Thank you,
  • Sex with you is amazing;

Make him feel like a king, you won`t regret it.

FINANCIALLY

Support him by bringing something to the table, no matter how small. Can your husband trust you with money? Some husbands are afraid to tell their wives when they have money because she will finish spending it before the money comes. I hope you are not one of them. Be a good manager of finances. Know how to use the funds he puts in your care especially in times of financial plenty. When you cannot afford chicken, please eat fish gladly. Do not eat with all your mouth (you know what I mean); I tell you he will value you and hold you dear.

SEXUALLY

I thank God for our fathers and mothers in the faith who speak openly about sexual relations in marriage. It used to be a no go area and too holy a subject to discuss. Until it became clear that many Christian homes were breaking on account of lack of sexual satisfaction. My sisters, the truth is, this subject should not be joked with. That you got married as a virgin is no excuse to remain one after marriage; so strive to learn with your husband.

There are Christian books on the subject of sex in marriage, buy them and read them with your husband. You should not have headache every time your husband approaches you; a woman too can approach her husband for sex

The Lord will help us in Jesus Name.

Barr. Ihechi Olanrewaju

Barrister Ihechi Olanrewaju is the author of “BODY SAFETY GUIDE FOR KIDS” and “BODY SAFETY GUIDE FOR TEENS”. She is the CO-ordinator of COMFORT CENTRE FOR FOR CHILD ADVOCACY, RESPONSE AND EMPOWERMENT.

OVERCOMING THE CAUSES OF STORMS AND BREAKUP IN MARRIAGE

Today, we will consider some reasons why homes have cracks and evebreakup. We shall further see how to overcome these setbacks.

Honestly, there is more Power in the union of a man and woman who decide to stay together and fight, than in a legion from hell.  Don’t ever forget this!!!

Marriages do not work by wishing, Homes work because we work them!!! So whatever way yours have become, what is most important is what you make of it. My heart cry is that, every eligible single in here will be Divinely Settled in God’s choice marriage; and that every home suffering cracks, pains and setbacks will receive God’s visitation today, for complete healing and restoration in Jesus name.

SOME CAUSES OF STORMS AND BREAKUP IN MARRIAGE AND HOW TO OVERCOME

1. SOCIETAL PRESSURES

Economic instability and the demands/cares of this world can cause issues in marriage. When couples refuse to be content with what they have, there will be problems. Young couples should learn to keep their eyes off comparism.  Do not compare your husband or wife with anybody. Learn to build together, and grow together.

If you see something outside that you really like, instead of coming home to thrash your wife, help her become that good. And if your partner is not responding as quick as your neighbour’s partner is, keep at it.  Be patient with each other, and learn to grow together.

2. FAULTY SPIRITUAL FOUNDATIONS

Many people enter marriage with spiritual battles and marriage does not always bring an end to battles. Instead, your spouse will have to share in it. Yes, marriage can introduce you into spiritual battles.

I however believe that the Right Marriage has capacity to defeat anything opposing the couple, especially when it is not in line with God’s will. Battles are very common in marriage.  If you marry a witch, congrats, get set for witchcraft activities

Deut. 32:30says, “How should one chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight,…..” Marriage is also a unifying force. Marry the right person, and it will become easier to access victories. Marriage can bring spiritual setbacks when you marry the wrong person. Marriage can also multiply your victories, when you get it right. Hallelujah!!!

3. MARRYING THE WRONG PERSON

Is it possible to marry the wrong person? Yes! If you marry an unbeliever, you have married the wrong person, because 2Cor 6:14 says, “Be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers….”

 Someone said, if you marry the devil’s daughter, you become his son in-law. What will this kind of person get? Constant disaster. That will not be your portion in Jesus name. Then, if you marry the devil’s daughter, you marry a witch, you become a wizard. It is an automatic ticket. You cannot marry the devil’s child and expect to raise a Godly and peaceful home.

4. WRONG DECISIONS BY THE COUPLE

Many times, marriages face challenges not because of satanic attacks nor external interference but because of wrong or hasty decisions. For instance, if a couple that just got married recently, wants to live like their neighbours who have been in marriage for over 15 years, they will be making a big mistake.

Marriage is about growing, and you start from the ground. Be patient, do not allow anyone to deceive you; and do not deceive yourself. Do things at your level and give yourself time to grow. Young ladies, be patient with your young husband. This is your husband’s house not your father’s house, stop telling us how you live in your father’s house. You are here to build, learn to grow through this. Couples must learn to aspire high but appreciate God for their present level and make decisions in sincerity. If you live large at the beginning, you will drink the garri alone with your spouse.  If you make wrong financial decisions, it will affect your home.

5. STRANGE MAN AND STRANGE WOMAN

This is the enemy you must learn how to chase off.  The strange man or strange woman is that friend, colleague, neighbour or secret admirer that you must QUENCH. In many cases, you may not even be interested in an affair, but that does not bother the stranger. The stranger is that beautiful enemy, that handsome bastard!!! The strange man/woman is the agent of the devil that wants to cause cracks in your home.

Let me say this very clearly, ONCE YOU SENCE AN OPPOSITE SEX HAS INTEREST IN YOU AS A MARRIED PERSON, FIND A WAY TO STOP ACCESS TO THAT PERSON.

All the devil needs to raise a storm in your marriage is a love text message from a stranger. Your wife or husband will see it, and you may need the next 3 years to regain trust. Stop flirting with the strange man or woman So, please stop trying to “manage” the presence of a strange man or woman. Cut them off. Sack that girl or boy if you can’t think straight in the office.

Married women, stop giving out your number to the young man you know has an interest in you. Cut off access!!!

Married couples must also be FIRM in making your stand known to anyone who is showing you green light….

Then, do not be ashamed to discuss this with your spouse. If someone is trying to lure you as a married person, tell your spouse. Discussing this with your spouse will help you free your mind and also help your partner build better trust in you. You spouse should not be kept in the dark concerning the presence of a strange man/woman.

Why? An attack on you is an attack on your marriage and your spouse. Discuss it, so the both of you can fight it off prayerfully, together. Praise God!!!

6. EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR(S)

When a husband or wife defiles the commitment to the partner, there will definitely be issues. You cannot keep two or more women and not expect trouble in your life and your marriage. Two women cannot stay in peace in one heart, unless they are there for some other gain, that they are indeed getting.

If you see a polygamous marriage where the women do not engage in rivalry, they are there for the money and getting it. And that is not marriage. God’s intent for marriage is, one man and one wife.

 If you are a married man or woman, and begin to desire another partner, you need to get into the place of prayer, and kill the flesh that longs to kill you and your marriage.

7. LITTLE KNOWLEDGE ON THE SUBJECT OF MARRIAGE

Many young people gather all the knowledge on how to organize a splendid wedding, but they know nothing about caring for a woman or man. You need more than a fine face and figure 8 to keep a man. There is also a difference between impregnating a woman and keeping a wife.

One of the foremost reasons why many marriages do not work, is because of little knowledge. People go to school for 5 or more years to earn academic knowledge but will not dedicate the required efforts needed to gain the knowledge needed for a successful home.

Is knowledge needed for success in marriage? Yes!

Matt 19:3-4 says, “The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female”

When Jesus was to answer the question concerning marriage, He asked them about reading, “…have ye not read…” This is why I and my wife always insist on reading for those on our Relationship Mentoring list. We read over 15 books when we were in courtship. And this was apart from Counselling sessions, seminars, retreats, etc. Love is not enough to keep a marriage

Many people are in love and still break up. You need more than love to keep a marriage intact. You must learn! You must read. You must know! If not you will mess up!

8. IRREGULAR THOUGHT PATTERNS BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE

When husband and wife have different and opposing dreams, thought patterns and mental perceptions, there will be issues that prayers may not be able to resolve. These differences can be as little as how to brush your teeth. Some people believe you brush in the bathroom, some believe you brush outside the house, while some people grew up brushing in the kitchen. Have you seen some people brushing their teeth? There will be so much noise you think they are scrubbing jeans. To some people, your teeth is not clean until you scrub like jeans.

For marriage to work, intending couples must have enough time in courtship to discover each other’s differences and find common grounds. Many young people rush into marriage without knowing much about their partner. After a few months, she starts to manifest!!!

Give yourself enough time to know each other, understand your differences and discover your aligning points. Discuss your opinions well enough and agree on how your family and marriage will run, before going into marriage.

9. EXTENDED FAMILY INTERFERENCE

This is one of the foremost reasons why many homes suffer crisis; and if this is not carefully handled, it usually leads to marital break. Gen 2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” God’s design for marriage is non-interference from family and other external factors.

Man is destined to LEAVE family and CLEAVE to his wife. This does not mean parents, brothers and sisters cannot visit and give opinions but EVERYBODY must allow the new couple grow. Everyone, no matter how close to the husband of wife, must respect the liberty of a New Family and allow them strive and blossom.

Couples must be allowed to decide on what will work for their new home. The place of parents remain love, advice and prayers. Parents and in-laws can visit, but this must be as agreed by the couple. Every marriage must be allowed to WORK on the unity and terms that both couples feel comfortable with.

There are parents who do not believe they should keep their ears and ears off certain matters in their son’s marriage. There are mothers who believe the daughter in-law must do everything they want. The husband of the home must learn to respectfully keep ‘Mama’ where she belongs. Your wife is the 1st lady in your life and she owns your house. Learn to establish this respectfully! Do not allow anyone rubbish her.

10. OTHER EXTERNAL INTERFERENCE FROM FRIENDS, ETC.

 It is a complete error to take issues between you and your spouse and discuss with friends, colleagues and partners. It is deadlier to discuss your marital issues with the opposite sex. Do not expose your wife’s weakness to a female colleague. She may seek to offer you the satisfaction you appear to lack.

If there are matters to be resolved, discuss with your spouse. If you have tried this option and it does not work, go to your Pastor or trusted Marriage Counsellor.

Get down and make your Home Work.

God bless you, bless and preserve your Marriage in Jesus name. Amen.

Pastor Deji David Olanrewaju
Empowerment Materials by Pastor Deji David Olanrewaju are available Online. CLICK HERE!

July 2020: OPEN HEAVENS

Welcome to the second half of this year. July 2020 is our month of Open Heavens. Isa 32:15-20 says, “Until the spirit be poured upon us from on high, and the wilderness be a fruitful field, and the fruitful field be counted for a forest. Then judgment shall dwell in the wilderness, and righteousness remain in the fruitful field. And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever. And my people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places; When it shall hail, coming down on the forest; and the city shall be low in a low place. Blessed are ye that sow beside all waters, that send forth thither the feet of the ox and the ass”

The consequences of Open Heavens shall be evident in your life and across the nations of the earth. Honestly, the results of Open Heavens cannot be fully considered in this note. However, it is necessary to expressly reveal some very relevant points, so your faith can be spurred.

In this month, God will be doing strange things but He will leave the manifestations in our hands. What I mean is, God has victories and testimonies prepared for you in every area of life, including matters where you have previously suffered defeat and setbacks; but God will not leave us without participating in this Divine Order. We have a role to play in enforcing that which Divinity is doing on the earth. July 2020 is a month where you can “Take it All”.

When a man has his Heavens Open, all things are available to him. Everything good is in Heaven and when Heaven opens up for you, even your fallow grounds and dry lands will enjoy rain. I have good news for someone reading this, your struggles will expire this month. July is too loaded to be taken casually. The clouds are full, it is time for your Rain. God’s people will see notable progress, and things that were previously difficult, shall become easy to handle.

In July 2020, we shall see more of God’s Kingdom order established across various spheres of influence. There shall be a drastic rise in Kingdom influence across the nations of the earth. Many more individuals, businesses, institutions and governments will adopt righteous structures for running their daily affairs. Heaven shall be established on the earth. God’s people will enjoy peace, progress and prosperity.

God demands however that we open our mouths and He will fill it up. July is strategically for spiritual commanders. Those who will lift up their voice will enjoy the backing of God and the workings of Angels. You cannot afford to be quiet and look through as usual. The season is in need of men who will Rise Up and take Spiritual Responsibility. God will be giving Spiritual Echo to our voices, so we enjoy resounding Spiritual command. God has released angels from His presence to swiftly respond to our voices and provoke supernatural miracles.

It is necessary to remind you that Heaven only answers to the command of children of God. So if you are not a child of God, or if you are living in sin, these glorious benefits cannot be yours, until you repent of all your sin. Confess your sins and make Jesus the Lord over your life. Say this Prayer:

“Father, I am a sinner. I believe Jesus died on the Cross for me to be saved. Have mercy on me and wash me clean with the Blood of Jesus. Come and be my Lord and Saviour. From today, I am born again, and receive grace for this race. Thank you Father in Jesus name. Amen!”

Congratulations, now you are born again. Please inform us of your Salvation, so we can pray along with you and help you grow spiritually. Click Here to contact us.

Indeed, July 2020 is for Commanding the Supernatural. I admonish you to join us in 31 Days of Prayer Rain and Open Heavens, running from 1st – 31st July 2020. We shall be Streaming Live on Facebook by 8.00 – 9.00am (NGR Time). Join Us Here. Welcome to your Season of Open Heavens. God bless you. Arise!!!

Deji David Olanrewaju

Join me by 5.00pm today for Online Champions Forum on WhatsApp, where I am be teaching on THE MYSTERIES OF OPEN HEAVENS. Click Here to Join.

JUNE 2020: GOOD SUCCESS

Welcome to June 2020, our Month of GOOD SUCCES. Joshua 1:8 says, “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.” Definitely, there is a difference between Success and Good Success.

What is Good Success?

  • Good Success is generating outstanding and expected results in every area of life.
  • Good Success is not just doing well but achieving God’s purpose and expectations for your existence.
  • Good Success is prospering without any form of deficiency.
  • Good Success is doing well in every area of life.
  • Good Success is having a balanced life, with every area bringing you good news and joy.
  • Good Success is living a life of Championship and triumph in all things.

It is God’s plan that you do well in all things. How can you be rich and then have health issues? That is not good success! Some people are doing well in their career but barren without child; that is not Good Success. I have seen Pastors with big churches but cannot keep a stable marriage; that too is not Good Success.

I have no doubts that as God’s Word has come, He will fix everything deficient and lacking in your life. Your Championship is paramount to God; and I like the way NLT version quotes Joshua 1:8, “Study this book of instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.”  God plan is that you succeed in all that you do; Hallelujah!

Scripture is clear that, “…only then…” Only when? Only when you observe to do all that is written in God’s Word. Championship and all round success is not a Prophetic Blessing. It is a Conditional Covenant Blessing.

Below are 7 Truths we can deduce from our Anchor Scripture;

  • God’s Word has all the secrets to success in every area of human endeavour: finances, family, career, marriage, relationship, business, academics, etc.
  • God’s Word is the Manual for our Prosperity and all round Success.
  • If you are not doing well in a particular area of life, it is either because you have not discovered what to do in Scripture, or you have not applied the necessary discovery.
  • It is obedience to Scriptural Truths and Application of revealed Secrets that guaranty your Success.
  • Revelation is the bedrock for your Success.
  • Revelation doesn’t just pop out. It comes only by dedicated meditation on God’s Word.
  • Meditation on God’s Word must be continuous and consistent in order for it to deliver the Power therein.

I hereby welcome you to the Month of Discovery and Application of Scriptural Secrets that will secure your All Round Success. If you have been suffering defeat in a particular area, it is time to dive into God’s Word and access His timely agenda. Isaiah 55:11 says, “So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.” You have recorded enough defeat. An end has come to your secret tears in this month of June. Get down into Scripture to discover what is written concerning that matter of concern. As you access revelations, obey all of God’s instructions and no devil in hell can stop your triumph anymore.

I decree that from today, you all round success is established in Jesus name. I like to admonish you to join us for Online Champions Forum, every Wednesday by 5.00pm. Throughout this month, we shall be discussing God’s Secrets for Championship and All Round Success. I prophecy that everyday in June 2020 shall bring forth testimonies for you in Jesus name. Amen.

The foundation of success is Salvation. Anything you have outside Christ is vanity. If you have not surrendered your life to Christ or if you have been going to church but not living a life that pleases God, you need to return to Him now. Confess this Prayer: “Father, I am a sinner. I repent of all my sins, have mercy on me and wash me clean with the Blood of Jesus. I confess today that Jesus is my Lord and my Saviour. I am born again, in Jesus name. Amen!”

Congratulations. God bless you. Arise!!!

Pastor Deji David Olanrewaju

GOD’S WISDOM FOR OVERCOMING IN THIS ENDTIME

This world and all her pleasures will pass away. This world is heading for destruction. However, Generational Fruitfulness is the antidote to generational destruction. The destruction reserved for this age bows to Generational Fruitfulness. Many funny things will be happening in the world. If you know that your life or your ways are not right with God, you better amend them. In the book of Esther, Haman was planning destruction for God’s people, but it happened that what he was busy preparing, was used on him, his battalion and his ten sons. The devil is the chief generational destroyer. John 10:10 says, the devil primarily comes to steal, destroy and to kill. If you are a child of the devil, you are headed for destruction. Jesus is the only sure path to life.

God has the wisdom for overcoming through every season. In Gen. 26:1,12-14; there was famine in the land and God told Isaac to stay in that land. What is God telling you and where is God telling you to stay? In this season of pandemic, some of us will come out great and wax stronger. I have good news for you; “despite the pandemic, you will not go down in Jesus Name!” Your finance does not depend on the lockdown. Your responsibility is not to go about complaining but to seek God’s face for His strategies for the season. While some companies will be laying off staff, we shall be employing more! As darkness is increasing on the people of the world, the Lord shall arise upon us and His Glory shall be seen upon us.

Luke 21:20-21 says, “And when ye shall see Jerusalem compassed with armies, then know that the desolation thereof is nigh. Then let them which are in Judaea flee to the mountains; and let them which are in the midst of it depart out; and let not them that are in the countries enter thereinto.”

This Scripture talks about Jerusalem. In this Scripture, Jerusalem signifies the Church. When you begin to see opposing forces; gay marriage, fornication and the likes in and around the church; know that, the end is near. This is the time to flee to the mountain. Who is on the mountain? God is! When all these things are happening around the church, you will need to focus your attention on God because there’s destruction ahead. The Bible says, ESCAPE, to avoid destruction.

  • God is calling us as believers to flee to the Mountain;
  • God is calling us away from religion to Spiritual and True Worship;
  • God is calling us away from church-mindedness to Christ- centeredness;
  • God is calling us away from our concentration on our denominations to concentrate on His Kingdom.

Some of the greatest problems of believers today are religion and denominationalism. These forces have crippled the growth of many of God’s people for centuries. Many of us are more concerned about the numerical growth of our churches on Sunday than on the increase of souls we can win into God’s Kingdom every other day of the week. Many are more concerned about their church than the entire Church and Body of Christ. We often segregate and prefer those of one denomination to another. Listen! We are now in a season where there is no more safety in Jerusalem! God is saying, “Escape to the Mountain; Come up to ME!”

What does it mean to flee to the mountain? It means to come to the place of Spiritual Maturity. In Heb. 6:1, the Bible says, “Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection….” Leave the preliminary doctrines of the church. You are old in the church but you are a baby in the sight of God, that’s an error! Matthew 5:48 says, “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect”. Who is perfect? God is! Leave all these religious practices and turn your focus and attention on building a growing personal relationship with Christ. Climb the Mountain of Spiritual Maturity. Come up! Climb! You can climb Up to Perfection.

Does this mean church attendance is not necessary? Of course not! Fellowshipping and Spiritual Gatherings remain a requirement for building spiritual strength and nourishment. But most of us have taken church gatherings to be the only necessity, and this has robbed us long enough.

While I am not in support of the lockdown, God has been working through it. This lockdown has made Christians to read their Bible more. In this lockdown, the Kingdom of God has been growing; more and more souls have been won for Christ! The lockdown is not to lockdown the church. No Pastor should hide or retire because of a lockdown. This is the time to ask God, “Lord, what are the strategies during this lockdown to advance your Kingdom?” God is calling us into Spiritual Maturity.

Spiritual babies will not be able to survive this end time. If you are not strong, the devil will come and either steal from you, destroy or kill you. If you are not strong, the distress and pressures of this end time can choke you out of the faith. The end time is not for spiritual babies, but for matured Christians. Woe to Pastors and leaders that are keeping spiritual babies and stealing members instead of growing them to be spiritually matured. God is telling us to come to the mountain.

PRAY FOR YOURSELF: “Lord, cause me to grow into maturity; deliver me from spiritual stagnation, help me to grow into spiritual maturity”.

The journey of Spiritual Maturity starts with Salvation; accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. Jesus is the Way up the Mountain, the Way to the Father. I admonish you to give your life to God today; please do, because tomorrow may be too late. Repeat after me, “Lord Jesus, I return to you today, I have sinned, wash me with your blood, I believe you die for me and rose from the dead for my liberty. I confess you as my Lord and Savior. Thank you for accepting me back to you in Jesus Name. Amen!”

Congratulation! God bless you.

PastorDeji David Olanrewaju

Books and Empowerment Materials are available in Hard copy Books, Ebooks, Mp3 and DVD. CLICK HERE!

HOW TO SUSTAIN LOVE IN MARRIAGE

In this topic we have three key words:

  • Marriage
  • Love
  • Sustain

Marriage in Biblical context is simply the union between a man and a woman to become husband and wife.

Love is an intense feeling of deep affection with no limit or conditions for a person.

Sustain means to cause to continue for an extended period or without interruption

The first marriage was between the first man called Adam and first woman called Eve. The joining of both of them was done by God Himself in Genesis 2:18-25. Before we go into how to sustain love in marriage, we need to understand the concept of marriage from the above passage.

Marriage is instituted by God for companionship, fellowship, mutual help and comfort with deep affectionate intimate relationship. Marriage belongs to God and not just the man and woman. Marriage should be seen as a trust where God is the major stakeholder. He therefore supports the partners in marriage. God gives divine resources to marriage under Him.

                     GOD

             Man _ I _ Woman

We are accountable to God how we handle our marriage. Having this concept as a mind-set, then sustaining the love in our marriage should be intentional.

How to Sustain Love in our Marriage

1. LOVE GOD

The Bible says “God is love”. You cannot give what you don’t have. You can only sustain what you possess. If you love God, you will reflect His image and your love for your spouse will not only be sustained but will continue to grow. It is the Agape love that keeps us in marriage even in times of trials.

2. STUDY AND OBEY GOD’S WORD

If God is the Creator of marriage, then He has the written operational manual of how to maintain or sustain the love in it. Love is like a lubricant in the marriage, the manual will direct you where to apply it for the marriage to be heaven on earth. The love language of marriage is embedded in the word of God.  “Whatever He says to you, do it” John 2:5

3. SACRIFICE

Sacrifice is giving away something very precious or valuable for another thing to be meaningful. You have to make sacrifices to satisfy your spouse if need be. It may be your time, idea, money, body, ambition, position, career and your right as the case may be. Don’t forget that Christ made sacrifice, that is why we can have the joy of salvation. You can also do the same for your marriage to be lovely at all times.

4. GET KNOWLEDGE

Identify the love language of your spouse. Know the love language of your marriage. Love language are those things you will say or do to your spouse that will ignite or spark up the fire of love in him or her and it will make your love for each other to glow the more. Your marriage has its own peculiar love language. For example, romantic words, gifts, sex, helping hands, lovely text messages, nice meal, money, appearance, romantic touch, etc. Do not copy another marriage because you are not having the same “Code”. Try and decode what works for your spouse. Also read books, attend seminars and be well informed. Remember, “My people perish for lack of knowledge”.

5. COMMUNICATE

Don’t just talk but communicate to each other. Communicate to your Lover with your body, emotions, words, etc. Express your joy to your spouse. When you are hurt don’t bottle up offenses because it will lead to bitterness. Resolve conflicts, please don’t carry it over to the next day. Discuss issues in an atmosphere of love. Apologise to and also accept apologies from your spouse.  Even when you are right apologise, it won’t cost you anything. Forgive offences so that your love will blossom.

6. BE COMMITTED

Be committed to your Lover and to your marriage. It works! Give special attention to your spouse, he or she needs it for satisfaction. Always make your spouse to feel important and loved. Don’t just have it in your mind but express it to your spouse. Be intimate with each other. Don’t have emotional affair with someone else. Pour all your emotions on your spouse because you cannot attract genuine attention from another man or woman. Avoid temptations and appearance of evil.

7. PRAY

In John 2: 1-11, when the wine at the wedding reception finished, Mother Mary went to Jesus on the matter.  The answer came and it was a sweeter wine. Love is the wine in our marriage.  Prayer is the key for sustaining the love in every marriage. Invite Jesus into your marriage, He will supply you with wisdom and all you need to sustain love in your marriage. If God is involved, He will continue to refresh and renew the love in your marriage.

Conclusion

If you have not surrender your life to Jesus, please do so now. Then invite Him into your marriage, He will give you a sweeter Love. Follow these   “STEPS ” in marriage

 S – Sleep together

 T –  Talk together

 E –  Eat together

 P –  Pray together

 S –  Study together

Pastor Mrs Ukamaka AJAYI

EXPRESSING LOVE IN RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT GETTING INTO SIN

I’ll like to begin with how best I love to introduce myself.

My name is Adesewa Greg-Ighodaro. A lot of people know that I loooooove to call my name. And one of the reasons is that God gave me a new surname that always reminds me that He is very proud of me.

When God gave me my Husband, I knew and understood better, the depth of His love for me. And so I am excited to be writing on the title “Expressing Love In Relationship Without Getting into Sin”.

I’m going to start from the relationships I got into before I got married.

I started getting into relationships roughly, and at a very early age. Part of why this happened was because I felt I was not enough. I did not personally know my value. I didn’t even know what having value is. I was young, just finished from an only girls’ school and thought I needed a boyfriend to make my life more spicy or fun.

So, there was this very fine guy that used to come play video games around the place where I was working as a secondary school leaver. I can’t remember how he asked me out right now but we started ‘dating’.

That was the beginning of trouble.

 And I want you to get something from this.

If you are yet to discover who you are as a person – an individual, you have no business thinking about a relationship, not to talk of asking God for a wife/husband.

Secondly,

If you are yet to ask God or hear God (through His Word) tell you why He created you and what He created you for, abeg no go near relationship (which means there’s no part for you yet in having a purposeful relationship as intended by the making of our divine nature)

The reason the issue of identity recognition is key, is because, until you know who you are, you will respond and attract any single rubbish. You will see rag and you will call it riches. You will see riches and you will call it destiny. You will see destiny but you will run from it because you can’t even recognise it.

Until Adam was created and given a purpose, Eve was not presented to him. And before Eve came on the scene, a purpose was already in position, waiting for her to occupy it. In the sense that God saw Adam needed a companion, help and completer. However, we see that because she did not see the need to understand her purpose or the reason God brought her on the scene, she doubted her worth and traded it for immediate gratification as presented by the serpent.

It is the same with falling into any kind of sin in a relationship.

An idea and picture of who you are puts a cap to what extent by which you can go in the Spirit and when you are faced with trials, troubles and temptation.

On the other hand, let us look at the life of Jesus.

Although born in a human body for a divine assignment, Jesus knew, deeply understood and walked in the consciousness of His heavenly identity, that when the devil presented Him with varying options, He had enough spiritual strength and stamina to wade off the enemy’s schemes and tactics.

Infact, He knew who He was so much, that He told the enemy throughout His stay on earth to back off.

If you will not fall or get tempted to the point of getting dragged into sin, you must know who you are and know it well. That when they wake you from sleep, you spit it out like fire.

NOW, HERE’S ANOTHER THING TO NOTE

Asides from your identity or personality. Because a love relationship happens between two people, you MUST also know the identity of your intended (or already) partner. You may not fully comprehend it, but at least be knowledgeable about the person’s life in God.

Being sure of who you are is not enough to proceed into any kind of relationship. I personally do these for people who come into my life.

You must know who the other person is. You must ask them about themselves. Listen to their conversations with you and others, You must be able to discern their daily processes and dissect who they are and if their personality fits into the picture God has given you.

However, here’s the caveat. You should not go making decisions based on one sided observations. You must ask the other person what God has told them about themselves. Take note of it. And then go to God who created them and ask God, “Who is this person?” I asked God about my husband when he showed up. I didn’t just say, “God, is he the one?” I asked God what His destiny was, because I don’t have time to waste or even space in my heart for heartbreak. It’s too costly.

One of the reasons it’s easy for people to fall into sin in relationships is because we have a truckload of lazy Christians who are not ready to dig deep to gain a wholesome view of the situation at hand and the personality or destiny involved.

So to itemize the three basic significant order identity tests again;

  1. Ask the person to tell you who they are and who they see themselves to be;
  2. Ask the person to tell you who God told them they are and possibly show you where they documented it;
  3. Ask God about His purpose and plans for the person as an individual.

Then these responses will play a role in determining if they are fit for your own picture or not.

THE NEXT THING I’LL LIKE TO TOUCH ON IS THE PROCESS BY WHICH SIN HAPPENS

Please get this – Sin is not always spontaneous.

There is always a process that projects and produces sin.

People don’t just do things

People don’t just lie

People don’t just kiss

People don’t just smooch

People don’t just have sex

It’s all a process.

One thing always leads to something.

It only begins with a thought, or a suggestion, or a wrong statement, or being in the wrong environment.

The bottom line is, no one just falls into sin.

And with love relationships, it can be more strenuous emotionally because all your emotions are shouting on your head even the next person sitting close to you can almost tell.

So, how can your relationship survive this emotional and sexual strain.

  1. Be open about your position on sexual or emotional sin. Don’t assume that the other person knows you are a ‘spirikoko’. Open your mouth to say ‘you no go do’ (that means, you are not interested). Someone once said, assumption is the lowest form of knowledge so don’t assume that the other person will know. Save yourself the heartache and have an open and honest conversation.
  2. Limit your conversations about emotional sin. Something about our minds and thought patterns is that the more you speak about something, the more the tendency is for you to do that thing. So as much as you can, limit your conversations around doing ‘future things’ together. There’ll be times to talk about it but it can’t be most of the time.
  3. Avoid being in environments that makes it easy for sin to occur. Whether it is you telling a lie or you falling into your significant other’s arms for succour, just make sure that you purposely are not found in places that suggest sin can thrive
  4. Very importantly, have an accountability friend, coach or mentor that you can share your struggles with. Most of the time, when we are under these kinds of teachings, we make really strong resolutions but when the hook comes to shove, we find it hard to implement what has been heard. This is where the place of accountability comes in. Get someone with whom you could discuss these things on a consistent basis so they can help you handle the pressure right.
  5. Watch what you watch. I always say that your eye and ear gates are very important for you to control, because whatever you consume can become your reality. So, be careful to have a selective diet of audio-visual content.
  6. FLEE EVERY APPEARANCE OF EVIL. There are some times that you may not be able to execute any of the things mentioned depending on the situation. PLEASE RUN when you see that it’s like sin wants to happen. Don’t try to test your strength. Don’t let the devil borrow you for 1minute. RUN AWAY.

The Bible says there is no temptation that we will be faced with except ones that we can bear and even those ones, there is always a prepared way of escape.

Don’t stand for counselling when you are meant to run.

The last thing that will happen when you run is that you may fall to the floor but it is better to fall and be bruised than to fall into that temptation and be decreased spiritually.

Without mincing words, there is also another level of sin you must watch out for. It is the sin of disobedience. For anything to become successful, there is a secret ingredient that makes it work. When you get into a relationship, ask God about the secret to the success of that relationship. Know your consecrations. Decode the guiding principles for your relationship to thrive.

You must note that your consecrations may not necessarily be a known sin. It might be something that is common and generally acceptable but if you do it, it becomes sin to God and now creates a ripple effect of trouble.

God is the good Father. He is faithful and always wants the best for us His children. Sin is not from Him. Our choices are what produce a fruit of sin in us. God does not test us with sin. We have instructions to follow and teachings like this are to guide us further into truth. So, the next time you are thinking that the struggle is too much, ask God to engrace you but also run away from the sin that stares at you.

To your best life in marriage,

Cheers.

Adesewa Greg-Ighodaro


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