OVERCOMING THE CAUSES OF STORMS AND BREAKUP IN MARRIAGE

Today, we will consider some reasons why homes have cracks and evebreakup. We shall further see how to overcome these setbacks.

Honestly, there is more Power in the union of a man and woman who decide to stay together and fight, than in a legion from hell.  Don’t ever forget this!!!

Marriages do not work by wishing, Homes work because we work them!!! So whatever way yours have become, what is most important is what you make of it. My heart cry is that, every eligible single in here will be Divinely Settled in God’s choice marriage; and that every home suffering cracks, pains and setbacks will receive God’s visitation today, for complete healing and restoration in Jesus name.

SOME CAUSES OF STORMS AND BREAKUP IN MARRIAGE AND HOW TO OVERCOME

1. SOCIETAL PRESSURES

Economic instability and the demands/cares of this world can cause issues in marriage. When couples refuse to be content with what they have, there will be problems. Young couples should learn to keep their eyes off comparism.  Do not compare your husband or wife with anybody. Learn to build together, and grow together.

If you see something outside that you really like, instead of coming home to thrash your wife, help her become that good. And if your partner is not responding as quick as your neighbour’s partner is, keep at it.  Be patient with each other, and learn to grow together.

2. FAULTY SPIRITUAL FOUNDATIONS

Many people enter marriage with spiritual battles and marriage does not always bring an end to battles. Instead, your spouse will have to share in it. Yes, marriage can introduce you into spiritual battles.

I however believe that the Right Marriage has capacity to defeat anything opposing the couple, especially when it is not in line with God’s will. Battles are very common in marriage.  If you marry a witch, congrats, get set for witchcraft activities

Deut. 32:30says, “How should one chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight,…..” Marriage is also a unifying force. Marry the right person, and it will become easier to access victories. Marriage can bring spiritual setbacks when you marry the wrong person. Marriage can also multiply your victories, when you get it right. Hallelujah!!!

3. MARRYING THE WRONG PERSON

Is it possible to marry the wrong person? Yes! If you marry an unbeliever, you have married the wrong person, because 2Cor 6:14 says, “Be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers….”

 Someone said, if you marry the devil’s daughter, you become his son in-law. What will this kind of person get? Constant disaster. That will not be your portion in Jesus name. Then, if you marry the devil’s daughter, you marry a witch, you become a wizard. It is an automatic ticket. You cannot marry the devil’s child and expect to raise a Godly and peaceful home.

4. WRONG DECISIONS BY THE COUPLE

Many times, marriages face challenges not because of satanic attacks nor external interference but because of wrong or hasty decisions. For instance, if a couple that just got married recently, wants to live like their neighbours who have been in marriage for over 15 years, they will be making a big mistake.

Marriage is about growing, and you start from the ground. Be patient, do not allow anyone to deceive you; and do not deceive yourself. Do things at your level and give yourself time to grow. Young ladies, be patient with your young husband. This is your husband’s house not your father’s house, stop telling us how you live in your father’s house. You are here to build, learn to grow through this. Couples must learn to aspire high but appreciate God for their present level and make decisions in sincerity. If you live large at the beginning, you will drink the garri alone with your spouse.  If you make wrong financial decisions, it will affect your home.

5. STRANGE MAN AND STRANGE WOMAN

This is the enemy you must learn how to chase off.  The strange man or strange woman is that friend, colleague, neighbour or secret admirer that you must QUENCH. In many cases, you may not even be interested in an affair, but that does not bother the stranger. The stranger is that beautiful enemy, that handsome bastard!!! The strange man/woman is the agent of the devil that wants to cause cracks in your home.

Let me say this very clearly, ONCE YOU SENCE AN OPPOSITE SEX HAS INTEREST IN YOU AS A MARRIED PERSON, FIND A WAY TO STOP ACCESS TO THAT PERSON.

All the devil needs to raise a storm in your marriage is a love text message from a stranger. Your wife or husband will see it, and you may need the next 3 years to regain trust. Stop flirting with the strange man or woman So, please stop trying to “manage” the presence of a strange man or woman. Cut them off. Sack that girl or boy if you can’t think straight in the office.

Married women, stop giving out your number to the young man you know has an interest in you. Cut off access!!!

Married couples must also be FIRM in making your stand known to anyone who is showing you green light….

Then, do not be ashamed to discuss this with your spouse. If someone is trying to lure you as a married person, tell your spouse. Discussing this with your spouse will help you free your mind and also help your partner build better trust in you. You spouse should not be kept in the dark concerning the presence of a strange man/woman.

Why? An attack on you is an attack on your marriage and your spouse. Discuss it, so the both of you can fight it off prayerfully, together. Praise God!!!

6. EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR(S)

When a husband or wife defiles the commitment to the partner, there will definitely be issues. You cannot keep two or more women and not expect trouble in your life and your marriage. Two women cannot stay in peace in one heart, unless they are there for some other gain, that they are indeed getting.

If you see a polygamous marriage where the women do not engage in rivalry, they are there for the money and getting it. And that is not marriage. God’s intent for marriage is, one man and one wife.

 If you are a married man or woman, and begin to desire another partner, you need to get into the place of prayer, and kill the flesh that longs to kill you and your marriage.

7. LITTLE KNOWLEDGE ON THE SUBJECT OF MARRIAGE

Many young people gather all the knowledge on how to organize a splendid wedding, but they know nothing about caring for a woman or man. You need more than a fine face and figure 8 to keep a man. There is also a difference between impregnating a woman and keeping a wife.

One of the foremost reasons why many marriages do not work, is because of little knowledge. People go to school for 5 or more years to earn academic knowledge but will not dedicate the required efforts needed to gain the knowledge needed for a successful home.

Is knowledge needed for success in marriage? Yes!

Matt 19:3-4 says, “The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female”

When Jesus was to answer the question concerning marriage, He asked them about reading, “…have ye not read…” This is why I and my wife always insist on reading for those on our Relationship Mentoring list. We read over 15 books when we were in courtship. And this was apart from Counselling sessions, seminars, retreats, etc. Love is not enough to keep a marriage

Many people are in love and still break up. You need more than love to keep a marriage intact. You must learn! You must read. You must know! If not you will mess up!

8. IRREGULAR THOUGHT PATTERNS BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE

When husband and wife have different and opposing dreams, thought patterns and mental perceptions, there will be issues that prayers may not be able to resolve. These differences can be as little as how to brush your teeth. Some people believe you brush in the bathroom, some believe you brush outside the house, while some people grew up brushing in the kitchen. Have you seen some people brushing their teeth? There will be so much noise you think they are scrubbing jeans. To some people, your teeth is not clean until you scrub like jeans.

For marriage to work, intending couples must have enough time in courtship to discover each other’s differences and find common grounds. Many young people rush into marriage without knowing much about their partner. After a few months, she starts to manifest!!!

Give yourself enough time to know each other, understand your differences and discover your aligning points. Discuss your opinions well enough and agree on how your family and marriage will run, before going into marriage.

9. EXTENDED FAMILY INTERFERENCE

This is one of the foremost reasons why many homes suffer crisis; and if this is not carefully handled, it usually leads to marital break. Gen 2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” God’s design for marriage is non-interference from family and other external factors.

Man is destined to LEAVE family and CLEAVE to his wife. This does not mean parents, brothers and sisters cannot visit and give opinions but EVERYBODY must allow the new couple grow. Everyone, no matter how close to the husband of wife, must respect the liberty of a New Family and allow them strive and blossom.

Couples must be allowed to decide on what will work for their new home. The place of parents remain love, advice and prayers. Parents and in-laws can visit, but this must be as agreed by the couple. Every marriage must be allowed to WORK on the unity and terms that both couples feel comfortable with.

There are parents who do not believe they should keep their ears and ears off certain matters in their son’s marriage. There are mothers who believe the daughter in-law must do everything they want. The husband of the home must learn to respectfully keep ‘Mama’ where she belongs. Your wife is the 1st lady in your life and she owns your house. Learn to establish this respectfully! Do not allow anyone rubbish her.

10. OTHER EXTERNAL INTERFERENCE FROM FRIENDS, ETC.

 It is a complete error to take issues between you and your spouse and discuss with friends, colleagues and partners. It is deadlier to discuss your marital issues with the opposite sex. Do not expose your wife’s weakness to a female colleague. She may seek to offer you the satisfaction you appear to lack.

If there are matters to be resolved, discuss with your spouse. If you have tried this option and it does not work, go to your Pastor or trusted Marriage Counsellor.

Get down and make your Home Work.

God bless you, bless and preserve your Marriage in Jesus name. Amen.